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Hooking up can be a precarious business. There's a lot that goes into getting laid that most people don't take the time to
think about. When it comes down to it, your success with the ladies hinges upon everything from your appearance to your
apartment to your flirting skills.
Getting laid isn't all about game or style on their own. It's about having all of those things (and more) together at once. Because even if you're the smoothest guy around, you're not going to get laid if you smell like actual trash.
So here is the ultimate guide to hooking up. In this handbook, I cover everything from personal grooming, to sliding into her DM's, to sliding it in (wink, wink). Every single thing you need to know about finding a hookup is included in this article… so pay close attention. Taking notes isn't required, but it's encouraged.
words Taking your time to get ready isn't something you should skip over because you consider yourself to be some kind of
macho man. Grooming isn't just for the flaming or the female. If you're not spending at least the same amount of time getting
ready in the bathroom as you would watching an episode of Rick & Morty, then you're fucking up, my guy.
Don't get me wrong, women like a little musk. But there is a huge difference between musk and smelling like a sour gym locker. So please, for the sake of your sex life, spend some dedicated time in front of a mirror.
Let's start with basics, shall we? To some, this section might seem like common sense… However, to some of you reading,
the concept of decent hygiene has managed to elude you even into your adulthood.
Before going out on a date, or to a bar to pick up girls, or having a girl over for a dick appointment, you best take a shower. Even if it's just a body shower, please fucking shower. Rinse off your day (and all the sweat that came with it) before you plan on encountering any ladies.
Don't have time for a shower? Take a whore's bath with some wipes or a washcloth. You'll feel fresher, and a once-over with a wet-nap could make a world of a difference.
When it comes down to it, you're going to want to smell damn good if you're looking to hookup. This brings us to the topic of cologne… Axe almost got it right with their mantra of pit-pit-chest because you should be applying cologne to three areas but not necessarily your armpits… because your deodorant should take care of your pit stench (that being said, please wear deodorant).
Spray the inside of one of your wrists with cologne, rub together with your opposite wrist, and dab behind your ears. Then either spray your chest or, if your cologne is especially strong, do the patented spray-delay-and-walk-away. Spray your cologne in the air, wait a moment for it to float down through the air, and then walk through the cloud of cologne (with your eyes and mouth shut, you don't want to go blind or inhale that shit). This will make sure you're properly perfumed and keep you from smelling too harshly of cologne.
You should also be making sure that you're brushing and flossing regularly. Girls will notice yellow teeth. I promise you. And it's a huge turn off. If she plans on kissing you, she doesn't want a visual confirmation that your dental hygiene is anything less than stellar. Are you notorious for getting stuff caught in your teeth? Keep these floss things in your desk or your car, along with some Wet Ones for that whore's bath I mentioned earlier!
Okay, let's talk about your scalp. Dandruff is common with both men and women; it seems more prevalent with men because women manage it better. If you're hoping a girl is going to want to run her hands through your hair, you better not be flakey! Get some medicated shampoo, and tea tree oil if needed, and keep your shit flake-free if you have this problem.
Another thing that girls pay close attention to is a guys hands… more specifically the length and cleanliness of his nails. If your nails are too long, what girl is going to want them inside them? If they're dirty, they're definitely not going to let you slip a finger in, no matter how good the make-out sesh is.
So keep your shit short. Keep your shit trimmed. Keep your shit clean. If you can't do this yourself, I highly recommend getting a manicure — emphasis on man. Manicures are incredibly relaxing and cheap (especially if you're not getting polish as the ladies do, but if you're into that I don't judge).
Throw down 15 dollars every few weeks to get your nails done and a pretty killer forearm massage. I highly recommend these for after an intense upper-body day at the gym. A lot of nail ladies will massage your neck too; it's the bomb. Trust me.
Last, but certainly not least, let's talk bout man-scaping. If you're trying to get laid, you're going to need to do something with your hair-down-there. You don't have to go total bald-eagle (unless your hookup has made it clear that that's the hairstyle she prefers for your peen), but you certainly should trim.
Carefully trim your pubes to a reasonable length before you even think about grabbing a razor (please be careful not to cut your balls off). Then make sure you exfoliate a little bit (sugar and coconut oil work well if you don't have any storebought on hand) before lathering up with soap or shaving cream to shave. Moisturize after, with unscented lotion or coconut oil, this will keep you from getting razor burn.
As for the rest of your body hair, I'm not going to tell you what to do with it. If you feel like you need to get your chest/back waxed, then go for it. If not, let it grow. That's totally up to you. I don't care what you do with it as long as you're clean.
Another extremely vital component of your physical presence is your clothing. Dress to impress, am I right?
Don't dress as the man you are, dress as the man you want to be… or, more fittingly, don't dress for the women you've had, dress for the woman you want.
You don't need to be clued into fashion at all to be stylish; in my opinion, fashion and style are two completely separate things. That being said, if you have your ear to the ground when it comes to trends, good for you! My only advice is to not go full on hype-beast when you're out with a potential hookup or out trying to hunt for one.
If you show up in some wild outfit, you're likely going to either come across as too into-yourself or as too difficult to approach. If you're dressed like you just rolled off the runway, you might be too intimidating. You want to be stylish and dress like yourself, but you also want to be approachable. So save your drop-crotch pants and your Yeezy 2018-esc outfit for after you've already banged the girl.
Make sure you're yourself while dressed appropriately for the place you're at. If the event you're at calls for a crazy outfit — a la EDC or an event of the like — then that's okay. However, if you're going to a more casual place or event — like a smaller music venue or a bar, for example, — then make sure you're toning it down.
If you're not super into fashion, going over the top might not be something you're worried about at all. That being said, it's always better to be slightly over-dressed than under-dressed. There's no harm in wearing a button down out or throwing on a blazer if you're unsure about how formal you need to be on a night out. If you're unsure, I recommend taking the formality one baby-step up from what you think is okay.
Being slightly over-dressed will make you seem more adult (and believe me, ladies like a guy who can rock some form-fitting slacks).
Have a designated power outfit for going out. Have an outfit in your closet that you know you look good in and feel like a badass in. This will be your date/hookup hunter go to.
This way if you don't know what to wear on any given night, you always have something ready to go that you know you're going to feel confident in.
Facial hair for a man is either a thing of pride or a huge point of anxiety. There doesn't seem to be much in between. And
because facial hair is on your face it's just as important — if not more so — than what you choose to wear.
If you're capable of growing a full-on mountain man beard then, by all means, go for it. But make sure you keep that shit CLEAN. Beards are sexy, but nasty beards are the absolute worst. There should be nothing in your beard other than some nice-smelling beard oil. Your face foliage should be completely free of crumbs and other debris that might find their way into your facial plumage.
To prevent your magnificent whiskers from becoming any less than well-groomed wash your beard, oil it, and keep it well trimmed. If you don't trust yourself around scissors, then find the best barbershop in town and make a regular customer out of yourself.
And when you're out on dates, hanging with a regular hookup, or going out on the town, keep a comb in your pocket. This way you can keep any crumbs out of your beard and keep it looking bomb for the ladies.
Now, if there is any doubt that your facial hair actually connects or that it looks good… it's time to be honest with yourself. Don't try to attempt going full-on-brawny-man if your facial hair looks more like fuzz than forest. Keep your facial hair to a nice 5 O-clock shadow that frames your face an accentuates your jawline. Or just accept that you can't grow a beard and embrace the babyface.
If you're expecting to bring a lady friend back to your place, the state of your apartment is going to be just as important
as your state of dress — if not slightly more important.
Similar to your outfit, your apartment is a direct reflection of you and whether or not you're an absolute mess. So if your apartment looks like a hurricane just passed through, you have some work to do my friend…
Does your apartment remotely resemble the aftermath of a frat party? Can you remember the last time you did dishes? How old
is the food in your fridge? Are your sheets soaked in so much bodily-fluids that they're stiff?
Dude, get your shit together. If you want to bring a girl back to your place, you shouldn't have to worry about losing her in a mountain of laundry or that stack of empty pizza boxes collapsing on her.
If you want to get laid and have her potentially coming back for more, you need to step up your cleaning game.
Before having a girl over, or going out with the expectation of bringing a girl home, clean your fucking house. Do your dishes, or at least hide them in the dishwasher — hell, why not run it while you're at it. Put your laundry away, or at least pile it in your closet and close the door. And change your sheets, or at least make your bed and spray it with some Fabreeze.
It doesn't matter how well you dress if your apartment is destroyed. You're going to look like a slob. And it's embarrassing to hook up with a total slob.
While the term "bachelor pad" sounds sexy… homes of single guys are usually a little sad looking. So it might help
to scroll through Pinterest — yes, I said it. I said
Pinterest — and get some decorating ideas.
Obviously this isn't something you should be looking to do hours before a potential hookup opportunity, but taking some time to make your apartment look interesting and cool will help you in the long run.
You don't have to go full Chip & Joanna Gains on your place, but you should try a little bit. Find some interesting posters, and if you already have some, put them in frames. You'd be amazed how much of a difference a frame makes. You go from college bro to distinguished young professional in seconds.
Buy some candles that don't smell like a thousand flowers. There are some manly, sexy candle scents that you can find at Target or Urban Outfitters (go for things with notes of tobacco and vanilla). Buy a throw-blanket, and a couple throw-pillows for your bed. Get an interesting coffee table book or something.
You'll figure it out. If you need extra help, I highly recommend watching a few episodes of Queer Eye for a Straight Guy. This show will give you a good idea of what vibe to go for (and make you feel emotions you haven't felt in years).
Okay, so I'm a firm believer in a guy owning some sex toys that aren't dedicated to solo male use. If you have a Fleshlight,
that's a good start… but that's not going to help satisfy any lady.
You should really invest in a nice external vibrator. You can use these to heighten your masturbatory efforts when you're on your own, but you can easily use them when hooking up with a girl. I'm a big fan of this vibrator from We-Vibe as you can charge it with a USB and who doesn't love a Hitachi? Both of these are body safe, great quality, and easy to use with an unlubricated condom (that's what you should use with sex toys).
And no, they aren't cheap. But you'll appreciate the investment in the long run (you can get attachments for masturbating, they're totally worth it) and so will any girl you hookup with. Just make sure you make it very clear to her that you are good about sterilizing the toy. Using a condom with it and having toy cleaner or one of these bad-boys handy, will allow both you and your lady friend to play with piece-of-mind knowing that your toys are nice and clean.
Having toys on hand, like vibrators, will leave the impression that you're interested in your partner's pleasure which is what every woman wants but seldom gets from a partner.
When you're hoping that your night will end in a hookup, you should channel your inner boy scout and always be prepared.
The last thing you want is for things to start escalating only to figure out that neither of you has a condom. Here are
a few things that you should
always have on you when you're going out or hanging out with a potential hookup:
When you're out, trying to woo a girl the last thing you want to do is have to worry about your breath. Quite frankly, you
don't know what your evening is going to throw at you. Yes, you want to be hookup ready, but you also don't want to have
to have to worry about what drunk-food and tequila are doing to your breath.
So, always keep a pack of gum on you. This way you can go about your night without worrying what your mouth might taste like later. Plus, when you're talking close, and she catches a whiff of mint — instead of beer breath — she'll definitely want to kiss you. And when a guy suddenly smells fresh after a night out, you usually know that he's set on leaning in for that kiss.
Always keep one of these in your pocket for later, because it might end up being just as important to your night as a condom.
Women usually keep a hair tie around their wrist or in their purse. However, they manage to disappear in situations when you need them the most. Hair ties seem to be the most elusive when you're getting ready to give a blowjob.
Now I know that carrying one might not seem like your responsibility unless you're the kind of dude who's rocking a man bun. In that case you have a perfect excuse as to why you have one. I wouldn't recommend wearing one around your wrist unless you have long flowing hair because having a hair tie around your wrist can be just as repelling as a wedding ring.
Girls might think that your hair tie belongs to a girlfriend and dodge you as if you were married. So keep the hair tie in your pocket. And if she asks why say that you keep on in case you get lucky. If saying that makes you feel too cocky, then say it belongs to a platonic female friend, and you just so happened to have it on you.
I don't think that a girl should be too concerned as to why you have one because it's not that uncommon for a guy to come across a hair tie in the wild. In some fraternities, they keep hair ties on them in the hopes that they get laid or in case one of their brothers get lucky. If they ask, say that you picked up the habit in college!
Okay, this should be really obvious. Right? Obviously try to keep a condom on you if you're trying to get laid… duh.
But make sure to keep a few things in mind regarding condoms, like that they actually do expire. Yes, make sure you're paying attention to the expiration date on your trusty wallet condom. If it's past the date, throw it out and swap it for a new one.
Speaking of wallet condoms… that's actually not the best place to put them. Your body heat and the friction from it being kept amongst credit cards will wear the condom down. Try to keep the condom in a jacket pocket (but not the same pocket as your keys!) instead and make sure to switch this condom out frequently even if it hasn't been used. If it looks worn down or like it could have been punctured, toss it.
The best place for condoms is in cool dark places. So if you don't feel like carrying them, make sure to keep them bedside at the very least.
Though it's always good to have one on you if you're going out, use your judgment. If it looks old and tossed-around, it's probably not going to protect you from anything.
My favorite brands are Trojan LifeStyles and Lovability Condoms. Lovability's condoms are probably my absolute favorite because they're packaged in a durable container (so less chance of tearing), they don't smell like Autozone, and they're packaged right-side-up which is great for trembling hands.
This next item might not seem as obvious as the others. However, it's very important. I'm a huge proponent of lube. And while
lube might not be as important as condoms when it comes to safety, lube is almost vital when it comes to the actual deed.
When you're doin' the do after a night out, you might have noticed that while it might be harder for you to perform it's also harder to just get it in to begin with. Whiskey dick is a catchy phrase, but sometimes women suffer from — for lack of a better phrase — whiskey vagina.
Everyone knows that when you drink you get dehydrated, but what everyone might not know is that dehydration directly effects how wet a girl can get. So if you're planning on drinking pre-hookup, it might be a good idea to keep some lube on you.
You can buy little one use packets that you can easily slip in your front pocket. Not your back pocket; that could be a disaster.
If you plan on going back to yours, make sure to keep a bottle of lube in your bedside table along with all your condoms. And make sure you buy plain ol' lube. Don't buy anything that advertising a tingling sensation or that's flavored. Because "tingling" lube usually just straight up burns and flavored lube usually has glucose in it which makes it unsafe for putting it inside a vagina.
My favorite brands are Trojan's Explore Just Plain Fun and Hallelubyah (because who doesn't like puns and pH balanced lube?).
When you're trying to get laid on any given night, you have to
try. Very seldom is a girl going to just fall into your lap and be willing to go home with you. So, you need to employ
a few strategies when hunting for potential hookup prospects.
As a dude, you're usually expected to be on the offensive when it comes to asking to hang out or hookup. Here are a few ways to do that:
When it comes to texting, no one ever wants to be the one texting first. Especially if you've been left on read or you were
the last one to respond to a dying conversation. It takes some balls, but boy can it be worth it.
If there's a girl in your phone who you've been flirting with or have hooked up in the past shoot her a text and hope for the best. Send something subtly flirty and be direct with what you want. But don't be too direct; no girl wants to get a text that says something like, "hey, we should have sex".
So be direct without being too candid, something like "Hey! What are you up to tonight?" or "Hi! What are your plans for this weekend? I'd love to see you" gives off a flirty vibe without being too overtly sexual. Throw in a winky emoji or a smiley face for good measure.
I know that texting first, especially double texting, can be a point of anxiety for most but if you want to get anywhere with a girl you're going to have to be okay with taking a risk. If you're nervous about what she might say send the text and then walk away from your phone. This way you won't feel tempted to hover over your phone in anticipation.
Though throwing your phone across your room will keep you from texting other potential hookups. So cast your net wide and send a couple flirty text to try to make plans, but instead of tossing your phone into an abyss put some girls you're particularly nervous about on do not disturb. You'll be free to text other girls or scroll down Twitter without feeling too anxious about responses rolling in.
Tinder, and other dating apps alike, are arguably the most reliable ways to find a hookup. Even if girls are looking for
a longterm partner on a dating app, they're usually okay with fooling around in the process.
With that being said, swipe right! Log on to your favorite dating up, spruce up your profile a little bit, and go for it! Swipe right on a ton of girls. Swipe right on any girl that you would be remotely interested in sleeping with because with dating apps you have to cast your net extremely wide. Because let's be honest, you're not going to message have the girls and they're probably not going to message first.
It's harder to message first when you don't know the person. They're going to feel less obligated to reply since they don't know you. It's hard to establish that connection with a bad pickup line and a cheesy gif.
Message a large number of your matches and see if anything sparks! Set a time to meet up at a bar or a party and see if anything catches fire in real life!
Do you know a girl, but not well enough to have her number? Do you and a girl habitually like each other's tweets, but never
really talk? Maybe it's time to actually talk to your WCW.
There is no harm in sliding into a girl's DMs. It's less nerve-wracking then messaging a girl you already know pretty well, and you're more likely to get a response than you are by hitting on Tinder girls.
Like one of her tweets or grams and then follow it up with a compliment in her DMs. Don't be afraid to be a little more flirty than you usually would be; girls get plenty of guys sliding into their DMs, you're going to definitely need to stick out from the pack if you want a response. If she responds, take that as a good sign and try to keep the conversation going.
If you can manage to keep a conversation going in her DMs, then try to transition the conversation from online to in person by asking her if she has plans or if you could buy her a drink sometime.
Now that you have initiated contact with a potential hookup, it's time to get your flirt on. If you want to get laid, you
need to cultivate that connection with sincere compliments, well-timed jokes, and occasional subtly sexy innuendos.
A lot of guys are flirtatiously inept. However, a general rule of thumb is that if you're making her sincerely laugh, then you're probably doing a good job.
These steps that you need to somewhat nail if you want to nail her.
Flirting isn't strictly limited to what you say and the vibes you give out. Flirting is highly physical as well.
Your body language says just as much about what you want as your words do. Make sure that when you're talking with your girl that you keep your body language open and inviting.
If you're sitting down, point you knees and feet at her. If you're standing make sure to stand across from her or pivot your body toward her when talking in a group. Don't cross your arms or put something physical — like a backpack or briefcase — between the two of you; these are examples of closed body language and may give the impression that you're not into her.
Another thing you should do to make sure you're giving her all the right vibes is to touch her. And no I don't mean inappropriately (hopefully that'll come later). When you're hanging out — whether you be at a bar or in private — try to make 3 points of contact. A few examples include reaching out to brush her hair away from her face, touching her hand, touching her shoulder or looping your arm with hers while walking.
These points of contact should be affectionate without being overtly sexual, and purposeful. Accidentally brushing her hand with yours does not count.
I'm a believer that for some alcohol is certainly liquid courage. But I'm also an active believer that for most too much
alcohol is fuel for stupid decisions.
That being said, I'm not totally against drinking when trying to hookup. Sometimes a beer (or two, or three) is what you need to build the courage to talk to that girl at the bar or finally ask her if she wants to "get out of here". I am however against sloppy drunk hookups, especially when you're hooking up with someone for the first time.
Odds are you probably don't know them very well, or if you do, you don't know them sexually at all. Knowing and trusting someone (even if it's only a little bit) is important even when you're looking for a fling.
So stick to wine or beer if you can't trust yourself to go overboard on the liquor. Make sure you order a glass of water in between drinks and actually drink it. Don't worry about looking like a square when watching how much you drink; you'll look mature, cool, and collected.
The last thing you want to do is have one-too-many and completely ruin your chances with a girl.
Next to humor, confidence is paramount when it comes to closing. If you don't think you're capable of closing, you're probably
not going to close.
Feeling confident is something everyone has to work on. It's a total fake-it-till-you-make it scenario. Even if you're insecure, you need to put on a front that you're somewhat confident. This is why grooming is so important in the hooking up equation; because even if you don't feel like the most confident man in the room, dressing well will help you get there. Plus, no well-groomed guy is going to look like they lack in self-esteem.
However, there is a huge difference between acting confident and cocky. For some, it's hard to toe that line. So when you're speaking, have a filter. Make sure that nothing coming out of your mouth sounds douchey and self-obsessed. This is why it's important for a lot of guys to watch how much they're drinking; for a good amount of guys they become more cocky with each drink.
Believe me; I understand that you want to get laid. I understand that if given the option, you'd probably want to get laid
right here and right now.
I understand how you might feel a sense of urgency, especially if you're in the midst of a particularly lengthy dry spell. Sex is great. Sex is healthy. And sex is fun. But no what's not fun? Feeling like you're getting pressured into sex.
So… don't get pushy. It's not cute, and it will do nothing to get you laid.
When it comes to flirting — especially when it comes to humor — it's very important to match her tone. Let's
say you have a very vulgar sense of humor and she isn't nearly as filthy as you. You're going to want to tone it down a
little bit until your remarks clearly don't cause discomfort. If you clearly make her uncomfortable with any of your jokes
(dirty, political, or otherwise) apologize and change the topic.
The same goes for being forward. You don't want to be overtly sexual with your comments and compliments if she's clearly not finding it flattering. There are ways to be forward without being explicit. That being said, there are girls who are sexual as fuck when it comes to flirting. If you find one of those girls, congrats. If they're willing to be outright freaky in the streets, she's probably just as freaky in the sheets.
Once things start getting hot and heavy, it might be difficult to figure out what to do next or how to far to go. But don't
Hooking up is a broad term. Hooking up could mean anything from getting to second base to doing anal… it just depends on your definition of the word (which is important when it comes to the actual act of hooking up).
Since people have different definitions of the word and have different ideas of how far they're willing to go based on the situation, hooking up is a total gray area. So, when you're hooking up you're going to have to make a lot of sense of all the gray; you're going to have to figure out what's black and what's white.
The obvious solution to this is to communicate. Don't be shy about asking what she wants from you or how far she's willing to go. Communication is sexy. You might feel awkward about outright asking if she wants to have sex, but she'll be turned on by the fact that you actually asked.
You should be golden so long as you're keeping everything safe and consensual as well as sexy, but here are a few Do's and Don'ts when it comes to dickin' her down.
Girls come in all shapes and sizes, but this tip is for all my short girls out there.
Short girls never have to worry about being too tall for guys, but what they do have to worry about is being too short. So when you're making out with a shorty, make sure you're taking her height into consideration.
While short girls won't mind getting with tall guys (because every girl is into the tall, dark, and handsome type), they might regret their decision the next morning when their neck is completely stiff from making out standing up.
If you notice that she's craning her neck a little bit, lead her over to a couch or the bed to make your make-out sesh more comfortable.
Remember those gray areas I mentioned? This is one of them. When you're hooking up with someone new, you should be very cautious
about getting rough. Yes, most people have engaged in some kind of rough sex (according to blank about blank percent),
but for some people, it is
not their cup of tea.
Before you go full on Fifty-Shades, test the waters. And by test the waters I mean barely dip your toe at first. Lightly scratch her back, barely pull her hair, or when you kiss her hold her by her chin. Don't full on dig your nails in, don't yank her hair back, and don't choke her right off the bat.
That's how you scare the shit out of someone who's vanilla as fuck.
If you're trying to get freaky, test the waters or straight up ask her. But, speaking for experience, a freaky girl will probably feel more comfortably asking for what she wants.
Communication is hard. For some reason, women sometimes find it harder to communicate their needs in bed. So, make sure that
when you're hooking up ask what feels good.
Usually you can base what's feeling good off of her physical reactions. For instance, if she's moaning or arching her back whatever you're doing probably feels good. If she's not making any noise or pulling away from your motions, then whatever you're doing probably doesn't feel so great.
If you can't figure out where she's at, then ask. Just by saying something like "Does that feel good, babe?" you open up communication between the two of you, and you know how to continue pleasing your partner.
If you're attempting anything particularly acrobatic during a first or second hookup, then you're fucking up. Not only are
you probably doing the aforementioned sex position wrong but you're putting future hookup opportunities at risk.
Crazy Kama Sutra positions are completely off limits for when you first start hooking up with someone. You should stick to basic positions (think missionary and doggy) when you start hooking up with someone.
Once you've established some trust, then put your life in their hands by attempting any wild sex positions.
While you shouldn't try to twist your body into a pretzel while having sex with someone for the first — or second —
time, you shouldn't just stick to missionary.
Think about how you can spice up basic or minimally physically demanding positions. Something as simple as raising her legs over your shoulders during missionary or pulling her upright during doggy to kiss her shows variation.
Another pretty basic way to change it up is to throw a pillow under her back in missionary or under her knees in doggy to change the angle at which you're thrusting.
You can also fuck around the house. Don't just keep it on the bed. Bang on the floor. Bang on the couch. Bang in the kitchen. Just make sure your roommates aren't home…
Sex doesn't end when you cum. I'm going to say that again for the people in the back: sex doesn't end when you cum!
Contrary to popular belief, the male orgasm does not signify the end of sex. For the love of god, please don't cum, roll over, and fall asleep. At the very least take a breather before continuing to work your lady over.
Her pleasure is just as important as yours.
However, if she makes it clear that she's done but hasn't cum, that's okay too. Don't push your partner to cum if she's having a hard time getting there. The female orgasm can be elusive to most females themselves. So don't make them feel bad if they couldn't get there. And don't feel bad either.
Having an orgasm hinges heavily on trust and feeling completely relaxed. Both of those things usually come with hooking up a few times.
Please don't leave her there coverd in your cum
Get the girl a towel. Better yet, help the girl out.
This should go without saying, yet here I am.
So you got laid! Good for you, my dude! Now the key is to not act like a total weirdo now that you've banged this girl. Here are a few key steps to proper post-hookup etiquette:
Gauging when you should leave can be difficult. There will be times where you should stay the night and when you shouldn't.
Watch for key actions or phrases when making this decision.
Has she rolled over and completely ignored you after sex? Has she mentioned several times that she has to get up early? Has she straight up told you to leave? Then leave. Call yourself an Uber and make your exit.
If you do end up staying the night, try to wake up at a reasonable hour. There is nothing worse than having to wait for someone to wake up before going about your day. And it's even more awkward when you have to try to wake them up. So don't be a dick and set an alarm for 8 or 9, depending on the day. If its a weekday, try to get out of there earlier than later.
If you're at your place and she's overstaying her welcome. Try not to be a dick, but get the girl out. The last thing you want is to resent the girl for spending the night when you have an early morning.
Even if you don't want to talk to the girl again, at least shoot her a text saying that you had fun. Unless something absolutely
terrible happened, you shouldn't ghost.
Not only is ghosting after sex rude, but it's also cowardly. You will lose her respect if you decide to disappear rather than telling her that you're not down to hang out again. You'll look like a total pussy in her eyes, and if you were to try to hookup with her again, you'd look like an even bigger loser.
Don't ghost, even if you think that's the easy way out. It's better to shut her down than to lead her on or offer her any false hope.
You may have noticed an over-arching theme with the last two tips… which is not to be a dick.
Even if she's clinging or if you don't want to hookup with her again, be polite. You had sex with this girl, so don't be a dick to her. Don't ghost, don't say anything rude, and treat the girl with respect.
That being said, she might thing you're being a tool or tell all her friends you're a dick if you let her down. But as long as you're at peace with your own actions, you're in the clear.
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